


panem et circenses

by king_or_2_queens



Series: a fabella de violaceus [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Character Study, Depression, Emotionally Repressed, Fantasizing, First Crush, First Dates, First Love, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Karma is very frustrated, Like, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Pre-Series, Pre-Slash, Puberty, Sexual Frustration, Teen Angst, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, just a lot of tension, karma-centric, oblivious nagisa, sort of, very vaguely implied, yeah mostly just karma and nagisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/king_or_2_queens/pseuds/king_or_2_queens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"Karma felt his smile freeze on his face right along with his heart in his chest, and that was when he knew he was fucked."</em><br/>or, Karma and Nagisa's pre-series relationship, from Karma's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	panem et circenses

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! As it turns out, even though I have so many other projects that need doing, I just couldn't stay away from this ship. They're so frigging cute. Uh, fair warning, though: Karma is basically the epitome of horny teenager in this fic. Even though he's only thirteen, in my perspective, he's very intelligent and has a very overactive imagination, especially since he's going through puberty. 
> 
> Also! This fic does not take place in the same universe as neca aut necare. It's not that important, but just a note.

_**~ a story in violet:** bread and circuses **~**_

* * *

 

He was every guy’s wet dream.

Admittedly, most guys in Japan, even in this day and age, weren’t openly - or even closetedly - gay. But Karma was - and had been pretty much ever since he'd realised what sex _was_.

But that was beyond the point.

_Shiota Nagisa._

Slim, shapely legs which led up to his perfectly round, plump ass.

His slight hourglass figure, with a waist that Karma could practically fit both of his hands around.

Dainty hands with palms and fingertips softened by lotion and a lack of manual labor.

His mouth... _fuck,_ his mouth...so soft-looking and so _pink_ that Karma wanted to shove his dick inside, feel him choke on the stiff flesh and watch his eyes water up.

Blue eyes, so sweet, wide and innocent, always giving Karma that unreadable look of his.

That baby blue hair, so different from his own, always draped over his thin shoulders and hanging in his face like a curtain. Karma wanted to grab that luscious hair with his fist, yank his head back so that he could leave sharp, bruising marks all over that slender neck, and everybody would know that this sweet boy was his and only _his._

Alright, so Karma was aware that his feelings for Shiota Nagisa could not be called _pure,_ could maybe even be called unhealthy.

But Karma dared anyone to look at that soft, unblemished skin, those huge, cerulean eyes, and to hear that sweet, unbroken countertenor, and not want to drag him into the depths of depravity.

Okay, so... _definitely_ unhealthy. But then, it was really no surprise that Karma’s violent tendencies carried over into his sexual inclinations.

Needless to say, when he _finally_ found common ground, Karma leapt at the chance to spend time alone with Shiota Nagisa.

“Let’s go watch it together, Shiota-kun!” Karma said, a broad smile in place. He relished in the way Shiota’s face slackened, those plump, pale lips forming a little ‘o’ that Karma wouldn't mind shoving his cock into. Then, his mouth stretched into an elated smile, eyes shining in surprised delight. Karma felt his smile freeze on his face right along with his heart in his chest, and that was when he knew he was fucked.

* * *

 That night was a test of Karma's patience.

At the theater, Shiota grabbed Karma’s hand, stopping him before he could reach the ticket booth. Karma turned towards his companion, raising an eyebrow in inquiry.

To Karma’s shock, Shiota flushed and looked at the floor, biting into his lower lip as he dropped Karma’s hand. “Sorry, I-I usually don't ask for things like this, but your invite was so sudden, um… C-can you pay for my ticket and I pay you back tomorrow?”

Karma felt his chest fill with heated possessiveness, some sort of base, Neanderthalian urge telling him to _always_ provide for Shiota so that he never needed or wanted for anything as long as he lived.

Shiota’s eyes widened at whatever expression crossed Karma’s face, and Karma tamped down the feeling with a slightly forced smile. “Sure, no problem, Shiota-kun!”

Shiota beamed and walked by his side the rest of the way to the ticket booth, but that was only the start of Karma’s woes. Karma was going to have to torrent the movie later, because Shiota was pretty into it, but Karma couldn’t remember a single scene by the time the movie was over.

Karma bought a bucket of popcorn for the two of them to share, and he insisted that Shiota have an ice cream, as he’d noticed that Shiota had skipped lunch earlier in the day.

_First mistake._

Towards the beginning of the film, Karma turned to Shiota to make a biting comment about the scene, only to catch Shiota swallowing the last bit of the ice cream _Karma_ had given him. His slight Adam’s apple bobbed tantalisingly, and Karma gulped reflexively in response. Then - _then,_ he licked a stray drop of the viscous white substance from his bottom lip, humming in satisfaction.

Karma whipped his head back around to face the screen, cheeks reddening in arousal and mortification. _Shit!_ Karma adjusted the bucket of popcorn in his lap, ensuring that it covered his crotch just in case.

_Second mistake._

Shiota turned to face him at the movement, which prompted Karma to face him again as well. Keeping his steady blue gaze on Karma, Shiota reached into the bucket, inadvertently shifting the paper container just _slightly_ over his dick, which was quickly gaining interest in the proceedings. Shiota retreated with a handful of buttery popcorn, which he tossed into his mouth and swallowed quickly. Then, slowly, deliberately, he sucked the remaining butter sauce from his slim fingers, lips smacking together quietly in the near-dead silence of the theater as he did so.

And suddenly, Karma’s mouth felt like the desert.

He wondered if, perhaps, Shiota Nagisa wasn't as innocent as he seemed.

* * *

 The rest of the movie went relatively smoothly, with Shiota encapsulating all of Karma’s attention - and not just in a sexual way. The look of wonder and fascination that made home on his face made it impossible, somehow, for Karma to tear his eyes away. He wasn’t just an incubi brought to life; he was also just... _endearing._

Afterwards, Shiota chattered about his favorite parts of the movie, his eyes lighting up in excitement as they walked alone in the dimly-lit streets. Once he realised he was the only one talking, though, he grew embarrassed. “S-sorry for talking so much…” Shiota stammered, smiling sheepishly. “What was your favorite part, Akabane-kun?”

Karma hemmed and hawed, tapping his bottom lip as if in deep thought. “I’m not sure,” he said eventually. “I’d have to rewatch it. In fact,” he continued, running with it, “maybe we could hang out again sometime and rewatch it, or talk about the comics. What do you think?”

Shiota granted him that gorgeous smile, his whole face lighting up with it. “Sure!”

For a few minutes more, they talked about their class, classmates, and everything else they had in common. It seemed that Karma couldn't keep the small, contented smirk off of his face for the life of him.

“Well,” Shiota said once they were standing in front of the Shiota family home. “Thanks for tonight. It was really fun!”

“No problem, Shiota-kun. I hope we can hang out more,” Karma replied neutrally, he thought.

Shiota's mouth took on an awkward twist, and he blushed again, eyes darting off to the side. “Actually, can you call me by my given name? It’s just…” He suddenly looked Karma fiercely in the eyes. “My parents are divorced, but I just _know_ that they’ll get back together soon. So I’d rather everyone call me Nagisa so that there isn't a hard transition when my family name changes back.”

Karma's chest tightened with affection at the earnestness of Shiota’s confession, and he nodded, answering before he really thought about it. “Of course, but only if you call me by my first name too.”

_Third mistake._

“Sure!” Shiota said, beaming. “So, um…” His cheeks darkened further as he paused. “Good night, Karma-kun,” he eventually finished in practically a whisper, looking up at Karma through his long lashes and fringe.

_K-O!_

Karma’s overeager mind immediately conjured an image:

Shiota - _no, Nagisa_ \- stretched out on the burgundy sheets of Karma’s bed, his light hair clashing sharply with the deep red as it fanned out beneath his head, his pale skin glistening with sweat in the low light, his eyes heavy-lidded from lust and exertion combined, short nails causing little pinpricks of pain in the flesh of Karma’s back as he hurtled closer to culmination, mouth hanging sloppily open as he submitted to the pleasure, punched-out, near-agonised bastardisations of _his_ name falling from his lips like worship - “ _A-ah, K-Karma-ku...fas-ster, Karm-ma-kun!_ ”

Karma slapped a hand over the lower part of his face in horror, suddenly terrified that blood might come pouring from his nose at any moment. His face flushed, and he waved with his other hand before turning. “Good night, Nagisa-kun!” he called belatedly as he briskly walked away.

* * *

From then on, Karma had a friend in Class D. He still sort of despised the class distinction and discrimination that was commonplace at Kunugigaoka, but with a friend at his side, Karma found everything slightly more tolerable.

Nagisa smiled and listened when Karma talked about his games.

He paid attention when Karma tutored him, turning the full effect of his eyes on Karma.

He held Karma’s bag and brushed off his cardigan when Karma couldn’t hold back the urge to beat some shithole’s face in anymore, welcoming him back with no more than a “Me? Fight? Not even for the life of me!” and a slightly self-deprecating smile.

Unlike all the assholes at their school, Nagisa, with his thin limbs and lack of malice towards anyone on the face of the earth, was kind, understanding,  _flawless_ . Karma could trust Nagisa; he could express himself and throw himself bodily into dangerous situations, knowing that Nagisa would smile fondly and gently wipe the blood from his face later.

He should have seen it coming, though - should have known that nobody that perfect could truly be - well, _perfect._

“Where is he?” Karma said to himself as he walked around with their tray of food. They were hanging out at a burger joint near the school, sort of like a - _not a date,_ Karma reminded himself. Nagisa would likely not be inclined to dating Karma if he ever found out about the depraved and borderline-psychotic thoughts Karma had had about him. “Hey, Nagi - “ he began to call, but someone lightly poked the small of his back, sending a jolt of _shockfearpain_ through his body.

Karma whirled around, only to see Nagisa’s bemused face smiling up at him from his seat at the small two-person table. “I’m right here, Karma-kun,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Didn’t you see me?”

And suddenly, Karma wasn’t seeing his best friend - he was _observing_ him.

Nagisa took very small bites out of his cheeseburger. He also had a few other odd behaviors that Karma typically didn’t see in other boys their age, like repeatedly tucking his hair behind his ear, demurely crossing his legs and sitting up straight in his chair, and covering his mouth when he laughed.

He also always kept his sleeves pulled over his wrists if he could help it, something which rung a vague bell in the back of Karma’s mind, but he didn’t think too much about it.

Beyond that, when Karma paid attention to more than the way he was absolutely besotted with him, Karma noticed that Nagisa’s eyes were actually very active. In fact, the more he watched Nagisa, the more he was _sure_ that Nagisa was categorising and analysing every one of his movements as well, but somehow nothing but sincere interest in whatever was spilling out of Karma’s mouth showed on his face.

 _A guy like this could kill me in my sleep,_ Karma thought to himself. _I’d better not get too close._

Unfortunately, he already had.

* * *

After numerous uncomfortable and mutually painful rejections, Nagisa stopped inviting Karma to come over and play games with him.

* * *

Without Nagisa around to reroute his constant energy and wrath into something less damaging and...well, _illegal_ , Karma somehow couldn’t stop getting into fights.

* * *

Without Nagisa to go over schoolwork and watch movies with, Karma ceased having meaningful human interaction.

* * *

Karma spent most nights for months picturing the cool, hesitant smile that Nagisa gave him every morning nowadays, as if they’d never been anything more than just classmates - as if somehow, Nagisa graciously accepted that Karma had, without explanation, dropped him like a hot rock.

The rest of the nights...well, Karma spent those picturing Nagisa pinned to his mattress, hoarsely screaming his name as he took Karma’s fingers, tongue, _cock,_ like he was born to be doing it. Occasionally, he imagined Nagisa’s frail arms pinning him down, making _him_ take it, and, well...he came just as hard either way.

* * *

 After a while, he realised that he couldn’t live without Nagisa anymore than he could live without any other basic human necessity, that he needed Nagisa to ground him, but that he also needed him to take the brunt of his anger and fight _against_ him. That all along, what attracted Karma to Nagisa hadn’t been his innocence, his sinful body, and his doe eyes ( _okay, maybe the doe eyes a little bit, and_ definitely _that ass_ ); instead, he’d been attracted to the danger that Nagisa hid just under the surface of his easygoing, rose-coloured exterior. What he _desired_ was to have Nagisa's fingers tangled in his own, Nagisa's warm skin sliding against his, and Nagisa's bright, captivating eyes looking only at _him_ as Karma left his permanent mark on and in Nagisa's body. What he _needed_ was for Nagisa to fight him tooth and nail, just so that Karma could have the satisfaction of taking him down, ripping that darkness out of him and rending it to pieces. Karma wanted to be the one that held ultimate control over Nagisa, who held Nagisa in the palm of his hand and dealt out pleasure and punishment as he saw fit.

It was really too bad that it had taken a suspension and months of partially self-imposed isolation for Karma to figure out his feelings.

* * *

When those people came to his empty home and asked him to participate in the assassination attempt, Karma was accepting, though slightly dubious. Then again, anything would be better than spending the remainder of his junior high school career sitting in the dark and alternatively jerking off or wallowing in his misery.

_When did I become such a pathetic, fucked-up bastard anyway?_

* * *

Even with his hair up in those ridiculous ponytails, Shiota Nagisa was still the most beautiful and dangerous creature that Karma had ever seen.

He took a few moments to just _watch_ him, to see how he’d changed in the months that Karma had been absent from his life.

He was more social, that was for sure. A slim, green-haired girl was falling all over herself to flirt with him, but Nagisa was either oblivious or doing his level best to ignore her efforts (more likely the former). A taller brunet, a male this time, seemed to be everywhere that Nagisa was, smiling genially and touching him far more openly and comfortably than Karma had ever had the opportunity to do.

Karma sipped his apple juice, letting the familiar taste calm the green-eyed beast scrambling for purchase in the back of his mind.

Physically, Nagisa hadn’t changed much. In fact, even that ill-fitting PE uniform was doing wonders for him. The low ‘v’ created by the collar of the thin blue t-shirt exposed his bony clavicle, which Karma had spent many afternoons memorising the precise jut of, and the loose fabric draped over and molded against his ass and legs - _holy_ shit,  _I've_ _missed the real thing -_  in _all_ the right ways. His back seemed a bit bowed, though, and his limbs weary, but his blue eyes still shone with that liveliness that Karma had fallen in love with.

_Fuck._

As if hearing his thoughts, Nagisa turned towards where he stood on the hill, shock and restrained joy blooming on his face like a snowdrop in the spring. The wind abruptly picked up, threatening to pull Nagisa’s hair from its ties and Karma’s button-down from where it was tucked into his pants. Nagisa’s dark-haired companion glanced speculatively between Karma and Nagisa, clearly trying to gauge the depth and breadth of their relationship.

“Karma-kun,” Nagisa said eventually, his voice breathy and pleased like it had been that first time they’d spoken to each other - like _Nagisa_ was awed and grateful to be in Karma’s presence - as if he weren’t aware that it had always been the other way around - that Karma had been _so fucking in love_ with Nagisa and _terrified_ of him all at the same time, and had no idea how to deal with it, so he’d just pulled away altogether, and he was so _sorry_ that he’d been such a fucking idiot and ruined their relationship - “You’ve returned.”

Karma inhaled deeply, and for one uncomfortable moment, let every single one of his emotions show on his face - the cocktail of despair, adoration, jubilation, possession, and fear that took over his mind every time he interacted with Shiota _goddamn_ Nagisa (a.k.a.: Akabane Karma's first and last crush). The smile faded, and Karma released the breath, preparing himself for whatever would come next.

“Yo, Nagisa-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> The next story is from Sugino's perspective (this was a bit difficult) and has copious amounts of KaruNagi, in the biblical sense. Should be out within the week.  
> Thanks for checking out this fic! Kudos and/or comments are much appreciated.


End file.
